Investment

The other day I was only the treadmill, praying for something to say of an encouraging nature to Amanda for our party.

I was rushed and didn't really have the time to sit and think about it for long enough, but I thought, "what do I need to hear after the winter we've just had?"
And fortunately,  the Lord spoke to me.

He said, that the investment that I have been making and those around me have been making are not wasted. No matter what happens to this place, no matter what happens to the people around me, if I am giving my whole heart and investing where God has told me too, I will get a return of live from that investment and it won't be years wasted.

And then David Brooks was on opening this morning and he talked about investment. And how what we think our part of the body is, is not necessarily the place where God wants us to invest. How we need to be open to invest where God is showing us, and there will be a return, even if it is not obvious or when we are looking for it.

It's so encouraging when the Lord confirms what He spoke to me personally through other people. It makes me feel that I am not just floating and missing my opportunities to find God.

What I believe

So the last little while I have felt kind of lost in a way. I have been so focused on getting through the day, the week, the month. Being a parent and part of a community is an entirely different thing then being a childless adult in a community.

It can also be a very easy to have that as an excuse for slacking off and not taking/finding/ making the time to find God, to make that connection that is the difference between having life and existing on the surrounding anointing. 

Today as I was running I was thinking about an issue at work that is causing me head and stomach aches. Lines need to be drawn and conversations had without any assurance of efficacy or solution. It sucks to grow up sometimes. It kind of seems like life just gets harder and more complicated the older I get. 

But back to the point. I was thinking this line all day. "You have to contribute more then you take away." To have any sort of growth at all, you have to give more of yourself the you take for yourself. 

And then after thinking that and praying for the situation, I started thinking about what my vision is. I realized that there is a large space from what my vision used to be and what it is today. Do I really even have a vision today? 

I thought about what I believe. The most basic parts of my self and my foundation of what is True I. My life. Here they are.

- I believe that God speaks to me.

- I believe that He hears me when I speak to Him.

- I believe that He has a purpose for me specifically as well as creation as a whole. 

- I believe that He has a vision of the person He wants me to be and He takes me through things to refine me, change me and create a catalyst to propel me into the new creature He created me to be. 

- I believe that He has me in this place because I need all the help I can get to change the way I see things, the way I hear things and the things that come out of my heart. 

- I believe I that He is a God of mercy and love and also wrath and law and most importantly He is God  and He does what He pleases. 

- I was made for His pleasure and  I belong to Him. 

- I believe that He is coming back and will establish His government on earth. AndI have no idea when, and in some ways I hope it's not in my life time, but in other ways I want to know without a doubt that my faith was founded on truth. 

- I believe that I have it choose to abide in God and that I actually can abide in His presence. 

- And I believe that I am an eternal being, who will Spend eternity with God, or in hell, whatever that will be. 

I believe a lot more stuff too, but that's the basics. I feel like it's really important for me to write this down so I can define what I vaguely feel. 

The voice of my heart

I've had this line running through my head recently. "Let the words of my mouth be thanksgiving, let the voicings of my heart be praised. Let each thought of my mind be set on you, Lord. Let my life be a worship unto thee."

It's so easy to say mean things about each other and so easy to judge and be superior. It's not easy to think the thoughts God does about issues and circumstances and people who step on our toes. I want to have a different response to things that make me mad or offends me or makes me feel defensive. 

The only way I can do this is to have a back log of praise and thanksgiving before anything comes up. 

Gather

I love the line that Tom P used a couple of weeks ago. "Emboldened to be more apart." The recent circumstances of the Eads leaving/ being epic jerks and the whole situation has made me really want to give my heart to what's happening here and be APART! I don't want to be the person on the sidelines doing the least that I can do without being confronted. I want to give and to be in the middle of what is happening.
Also been thinking about finding peace when people are reviling you. It's hard to keep my mouth shut and to keep form being so TICKED OFF at what is being said about the people that they are supposed to love and care about, that I get worked and find myself just raging in my head. But I don't want them in my head. I don't want them to take up any more space in my life. So, how do I find peace in this situation?
I find it in believing, really, actually and truly believing that God is in fact in control over this situation.
And I have been thinking of this song.

Love it. We sang in on Saturday and immediately I was touched and knew it was God talking to me.

Sovereignty of God

As someone very wise said, God is either sovereign all the time or He's not sovereign at all. It's really hard to remember that despite the circumstances, the small to the large, he has engineered them specifically for us for his purpose. We are either going to be part of that purpose or we will fight against the injustices, the irritations and the fact that though we see and we hear, we can't judge rightly except through the spirit. It's also difficult to submit to the Lords hand when he sees fit to use the hammer when we think he should be "smoothing". Anyway, just a thought for the day. What comes my way if part of the purpose and plan of God. Get with his purpose and I'll see things correctly.

Part of the Plan

Janelle:

This morning, Steven talked about not forgetting through the days, the irritating little things that send us into worry and into stressing, that God has a plan and He is 100% absolutely confident that what He has planned will come to pass. That nothing is out of His hand and our choice is to stay in our feeble struggle to change circumstances beyond our control and stay worried and stressed by those same things or to be part of His plan and leave it in His hands.
It's such a good reminder that the small but significant things that come up in my day that send me over the moon in anger or irritation or annoyance are all orchestrated by the Lord for his Purpose and I need to come in line with it to have the right response to it.

Dan:
He's been thinking about Football and Hunting...:) though still praying for Jackson and all that good stuff.

Amy

Janelle:
Yes, it's been a long time. I don't actually feel bad. Mostly because I've been sick, Dan's been working long hours and Jackson has been sick. Lot's happening.

But I do want to jot this down as it were because I don't want to forget when I need it. For Amy, my oldest sister, who is 36 years old and not married. This is only a big deal because she has wanted to get married for a long time and been through all kinds of hell because she didn't even have any prospects. She is now in a serious relationship, which will probably end in marriage. For her bridal shower, I intend to use this scripture as the theme.

Joel 2V23 - 27  23 Be glad then, ye children of Zion, and rejoice in the LORD your God: for he hath given you the former rain moderately, and he will cause to come down for you the rain, the former rain, and the latter rain in the first month.

24And the floors shall be full of wheat, and the fats shall overflow with wine and oil.

25And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpiller, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you.

26And ye shall eat in plenty, and be satisfied, and praise the name of the LORD your God, that hath dealt wondrously with you: and my people shall never be ashamed.

27And ye shall know that I am in the midst of Israel, and that I am the LORD your God, and none else: and my people shall never be ashamed.

I love the promise that the years she spent in anger and bitterness and working with all her heart to justify God, He will restore that time. It's also especially fitting because of Nelson's past. The years of hell that he has gone through are not for his shame, because God was in it and there is no shame where God is. He will restore the years for Nelson too. I love this and really the Lord spoke this to me right after they got together. Pretty cool. :)