What I believe

So the last little while I have felt kind of lost in a way. I have been so focused on getting through the day, the week, the month. Being a parent and part of a community is an entirely different thing then being a childless adult in a community.

It can also be a very easy to have that as an excuse for slacking off and not taking/finding/ making the time to find God, to make that connection that is the difference between having life and existing on the surrounding anointing. 

Today as I was running I was thinking about an issue at work that is causing me head and stomach aches. Lines need to be drawn and conversations had without any assurance of efficacy or solution. It sucks to grow up sometimes. It kind of seems like life just gets harder and more complicated the older I get. 

But back to the point. I was thinking this line all day. "You have to contribute more then you take away." To have any sort of growth at all, you have to give more of yourself the you take for yourself. 

And then after thinking that and praying for the situation, I started thinking about what my vision is. I realized that there is a large space from what my vision used to be and what it is today. Do I really even have a vision today? 

I thought about what I believe. The most basic parts of my self and my foundation of what is True I. My life. Here they are.

- I believe that God speaks to me.

- I believe that He hears me when I speak to Him.

- I believe that He has a purpose for me specifically as well as creation as a whole. 

- I believe that He has a vision of the person He wants me to be and He takes me through things to refine me, change me and create a catalyst to propel me into the new creature He created me to be. 

- I believe that He has me in this place because I need all the help I can get to change the way I see things, the way I hear things and the things that come out of my heart. 

- I believe I that He is a God of mercy and love and also wrath and law and most importantly He is God  and He does what He pleases. 

- I was made for His pleasure and  I belong to Him. 

- I believe that He is coming back and will establish His government on earth. AndI have no idea when, and in some ways I hope it's not in my life time, but in other ways I want to know without a doubt that my faith was founded on truth. 

- I believe that I have it choose to abide in God and that I actually can abide in His presence. 

- And I believe that I am an eternal being, who will Spend eternity with God, or in hell, whatever that will be. 

I believe a lot more stuff too, but that's the basics. I feel like it's really important for me to write this down so I can define what I vaguely feel. 

The voice of my heart

I've had this line running through my head recently. "Let the words of my mouth be thanksgiving, let the voicings of my heart be praised. Let each thought of my mind be set on you, Lord. Let my life be a worship unto thee."

It's so easy to say mean things about each other and so easy to judge and be superior. It's not easy to think the thoughts God does about issues and circumstances and people who step on our toes. I want to have a different response to things that make me mad or offends me or makes me feel defensive. 

The only way I can do this is to have a back log of praise and thanksgiving before anything comes up. 

Gather

I love the line that Tom P used a couple of weeks ago. "Emboldened to be more apart." The recent circumstances of the Eads leaving/ being epic jerks and the whole situation has made me really want to give my heart to what's happening here and be APART! I don't want to be the person on the sidelines doing the least that I can do without being confronted. I want to give and to be in the middle of what is happening.
Also been thinking about finding peace when people are reviling you. It's hard to keep my mouth shut and to keep form being so TICKED OFF at what is being said about the people that they are supposed to love and care about, that I get worked and find myself just raging in my head. But I don't want them in my head. I don't want them to take up any more space in my life. So, how do I find peace in this situation?
I find it in believing, really, actually and truly believing that God is in fact in control over this situation.
And I have been thinking of this song.

Love it. We sang in on Saturday and immediately I was touched and knew it was God talking to me.